I've always been the type of person who lives by the phrase eerst zien en dan geloven, mostly because life has a funny way of overpromising and underdelivering. You know the feeling—someone tells you they've found the "next big thing" or a "life-changing hack," and your first instinct isn't to cheer, but to raise an eyebrow. It's not that I'm a naturally grumpy person or a total cynic; it's just that I've learned the hard way that talk is incredibly cheap. In a world where everyone is trying to sell you a version of the truth, keeping a little bit of healthy skepticism in your back pocket is actually a survival skill.
The Dutch have a knack for being direct, and this phrase—which literally translates to "first see and then believe"—perfectly captures that grounded, no-nonsense attitude. It's the ultimate antidote to the hype culture we live in today. Whether it's a politician making grand promises or a "miracle" skincare product that looks like it was photoshopped in a lab, I find myself going back to this mantra. Show me the results, show me the evidence, and then we can talk about my buy-in.
The world of smoke and mirrors
Let's be honest: we are constantly being bombarded with information that is designed to make us believe things that aren't quite true. If you spend five minutes on social media, you're hit with a barrage of "success stories" that feel a bit too polished. You see the guy standing in front of a private jet telling you that you can achieve the same thing if you just buy his masterclass. My internal response is always a resounding eerst zien en dan geloven. I want to see the tax returns, not the rented plane.
This mindset isn't just about avoiding scams, though. It's about managing our own expectations. How many times have you been excited about a new restaurant because the photos online looked incredible, only to show up and find out the lighting was doing all the heavy lifting? Or maybe you've downloaded an app that promised to organize your entire life, but it ended up being so clunky that it just added more stress. When we lead with a "seeing is believing" attitude, we protect our peace of mind. We stop getting swept up in the initial rush of excitement and start looking for the substance beneath the surface.
Why your gut feeling isn't always enough
People often talk about "trusting your gut," and while I think there's some value in that, your gut can be easily fooled by a good storyteller. We want to believe the best in people, and we want to believe that shortcuts exist. That's just human nature. But relying purely on a feeling can lead to some pretty expensive mistakes.
Adopting the eerst zien en dan geloven approach means you're asking for a "proof of concept" before you commit your time, money, or emotions. It's a bit like testing the depth of a pool before you dive in headfirst. You aren't saying the pool is shallow; you're just making sure you won't hit the bottom before you make the jump. In my experience, the people who get most offended by this skepticism are usually the ones who don't have the goods to back up their claims. People who are genuine usually don't mind proving it.
Let's talk about the "Instagram versus Reality" trap
We can't talk about this topic without mentioning the digital world. We live in an era where reality is highly curated. You see a "perfect" couple on your feed and think they've got it all figured out, only to find out a week later they're splitting up. You see a travel influencer at a "secluded" beach, but if the camera panned two inches to the left, you'd see a line of two hundred people waiting to take the same photo.
I've started applying eerst zien en dan geloven to everything I consume online. It's made my digital life so much more relaxed. Instead of feeling inadequate because I'm not living up to some filtered standard, I remind myself that I'm only seeing what they want me to see. It's a performance. Until I see the messy kitchen, the tired eyes, and the actual day-to-day grind, I'm not buying the "perfect life" narrative. It's a simple shift, but it saves a lot of unnecessary comparison and envy.
Applying this mindset to big life choices
This isn't just about small stuff like dinner or social media, either. It's incredibly useful for the big stuff—like career moves or major investments. I remember a few years back, a friend of mine was offered a job at a startup. The founders were charismatic, the office had a beanbag chair (classic), and they promised him "equity that would be worth millions." He was ready to quit his stable job on the spot.
I told him, "Look, eerst zien en dan geloven." I encouraged him to look at their actual funding, their product roadmap, and whether they had any paying customers yet. It turned out they were living on a wing and a prayer, and the company folded six months later. He didn't take the job, and he was glad he didn't. Being a skeptic doesn't mean you're a buzzkill; it means you're looking out for your future self. It's about valuing evidence over enthusiasm.
Being a skeptic doesn't mean being a pessimist
One thing I want to clear up is that living by eerst zien en dan geloven doesn't mean you have to be a miserable person who never trusts anyone. There's a big difference between being a skeptic and being a cynic. A cynic thinks everyone is out to get them and that everything is a lie. A skeptic just wants to see the receipts.
I still get excited about new ideas. I still love it when someone surprises me with something great. The difference is that I don't let my excitement dictate my belief system until there's something tangible to hold onto. In fact, this mindset actually makes the good things even better. When someone actually follows through on a promise, or when a product actually does what it says on the tin, it's a wonderful surprise. Because I wasn't automatically expecting it to be perfect, the reality feels much more rewarding.
Putting it into practice every day
So, how do you actually use this without sounding like a jerk? It's all about the delivery. You don't have to tell people to their face, "I don't believe a word you're saying." That's a great way to lose friends. Instead, it's an internal filter. You listen, you nod, you stay open-minded, but you keep your "wait and see" hat on.
When someone makes a bold claim, ask yourself: What is the evidence for this? If it's a product, look for unsponsored reviews. If it's a person, look at their track record, not just their words. It's amazing how much clearer life becomes when you stop reacting to the "noise" and start waiting for the "signal."
At the end of the day, eerst zien en dan geloven is about staying grounded. It's about recognizing that we live in a world that loves a good story, but stories aren't always truths. By waiting for the evidence, you save yourself a lot of heartbreak, a lot of money, and a whole lot of wasted time. It's a simple philosophy, but honestly, it's one of the best ways to navigate the modern world without losing your mind. So the next time someone tells you they've found a way to turn lead into gold, just smile, wait, and see for yourself.